Ass Tender Deep Fried Chicken

The deep friend chicken that we make around here, ain't like you're all you used to.

You know with fried chicken there's always something wrong with it, especially the one you get at those shop on the streets, it's either too crunchy and then you get drips of grease coming out after every bite you take, or sometimes the outside is damp and doesn't taste properly, leaving a weird texture in your mouth.
This tender pieces of chicken will be just nice on the outside at they are on the inside.

First of all before we actually start making the food, we shall get some appetite going, as I love beer, this usually involved me sitting on my ass having a few drinks trying to gather enough motivation to cook.

Batter: mix some flour, salt, egg, chili powder and some beer to make the batter.

I like my pieces of chicken to be relatively small, as they fry better and don't stick to each other, smaller pieces always cook better as well, so the batter is nice and golden and the meat inside is well cooked.

I find it that when the chicken is cut too big, sometimes the batter gets too dark and burnt, while the inside is still pink, and chicken ain't like pussy, it shouldn't be pink on the inside.

This is the chicken just after the battering process:

One of my personal techniques to make great deep fried food, is to cover each piece with great care and then slam them in the freezer for a while, so that the batter sticks to it and doesn't fall off while frying.

I don't use a deep fryer to cook, I have a very deep pan, which I fill with cooking oil, that's the chicken cooking in it the other night, I then use a spatula-like tool to get the food out!



That's the fried chicken after it's been stirred out, ready to be porked down by me



That's my lovely dinner, spicy chicken wings roasted in the oven and deep fried battered chicken, served with a cold beer and some extra sauce, just in case I don't feel it's spicy enough.

Monello Style Chicken Wings

Okay the Monello Style Chicken Wings are just one way of expressing the "The Monello Way"

In Italian "Monello" is how school teachers refer to those kids they have trouble controlling, it doesn't necessarly mean troublemaker, but it's close enough.

What you need to make this awesome finger licking dish:

Ingredients:

-Well chicken obviously "duh", somehwere to cook it, and non-vegetarian friends who can be able to enjoy the fruits of your lard labour

Spices: Now that's most important aspect of it, as unfortunately a lot of people fuck up when it comes to spices and seasonings.

-Cumin

-Chili powder ( I used good one from the Indian state of Kerala, but I reckon any would)

-Jerk Sauce( now I know you were about to unzip your trousers but that's not it), it's a sauce from the Caribbean, it goes immensely with chicken and it's great with fish too.

-Olive oil ( I live in Italy so for me it's cheap, high quality and easy to acquire, I know some places it's not the same, but try to use extra virgin olive oil as it's the nicest)

-Garlic, I made a paste with chopped garlic using a mortar, always use fresh and stay away from those jars of garlic powder you find at the supermarket, yuck!

-Worceshershire Sauce (don't worry if you can pronounce this, nobody can, you can refer to it by "Lea&Pressins" on the most famous producers

-Soy Sauce

Preparation:

-Chop the garlic, add green and black pepper and then crush the lot with a mortar, the end result should be a paste, to which, you can add a hint of say sauce, we're talking drops here no more

-By hand, drip all the wings and drumsticks in the sauce, be careful that both side shall be equally bestowned by the sauce' gloriousness.

.-Place the chicken in a baking tray.

-I'm sure you have a bowl somewhere where you made that sauce, add some beer, ale would be the test but as I'm sure you're some of sort of cheap twat the lager that you were drinking is just fine. Add some chili powder to the mix. With a spoon gently place on the wings in the tray.

Now they don't have to swim in it, just a few drops so they taste better, capisci?

Now the next step is leaving the wings to marinate a bit in all the goodness we doused them

In an ideal situation that would overnight, so the flavourings do get a chance to permeate that tender chicken and become part of. Obviously in today's stressed out world, just the fact that you're attempting to cook your own dinner is a massive achievement.

Normally making dinner would probably involve you trying to get revenge on that 15 year old kid that "boom" headshot you on Battlefield until the bell rings and you're save from further humiliation. The bell obviously being the microwave letting wifey know that the Hot Pockets are ready

Obviously if you don't have time to leave the chicken in the fridge all night, is fine, but they do need at least a couple of hours and you have to make sure that both sides get the nice flavourings on them.

Oven needs to be hot and ready with the grill function on.

Epic Meal Time: TheChallenge

So yesterday afternoon while were both struggling to look busy at the office, my coworker Lorenzo had the brilliant idea of making a challenge, a cooking challenge.

Now that might sound a little queer to some of the US-based readers, but this is Italy, and that's how we roll, goddamit. Also this wasn't just any cooking challenge, this was a quest to see of could produce the greasiest yet more palatable dish. We weren't simply trying to make yet another cheap-pathetic parody of Epic Meal Time. If we had wanted to that we could have just made diapers out of bacon and rolled up them around a little statue of baby Jesus.

The video of the priests and clergy licking the bacon off the poor child's ass would have gotten us millions of hits on Youtube and right now we could be internet millioners, pimping it out with star wars kid and that retard who cried about Britney.

The objective was something that would make you question whether the food was real not, of just delusion, like when you sleeep and you dreams are so vivid, you're pouring Tabsco on Jessica Alba's outer lipa, cause you thought was beef carpaccio( If you don't know what is, then man you're hopeless and you''ll spend the rest of your life wishing you were me)

Now no more time wasting on this writing shit and let's get to the action:

The two things I made for the challenge, were:

Monello Style Chicken Wings

and the other was

Ass Tender Deep Fried Chicken

Both contain propietary sauces combos and cooking techniques, you if you copy them you're ass

In the page you'll more details about both dishes. Peaceout