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Jacket Potato Breakfast - Pancetta and Cheese

What's better than waking up early, having a nice warm cup of coffee and some decent breakfast to go with it?

So this morning I took one left over potato from last night, it had been boiled but not too much so the texture was actually still decent.

I then digged a bit of a hole in it and filled it up with some nice Raschera cheese, which is an Italian cheese that melts really well and some sliced pancetta, flavoured with herbs and spices.

Five minutes in a hot oven and it was done, really good filling breakfast.

Obviously ended up dousing it with some green Jalapeno Tabasco just to add a little bit of edge to it, as I reckon it enhances any dish.

That was quite nice indeed, oh and I almost forgot, happy St.Valentines Day to all you singles out there, that one's for you: ENJOY

See ya later peeps

Artichokes, Bacon and Steak, now thats's a quick lunch

For side we'll have Artichokes hearts, washed and cut, fried in olive oil with parsley and garlic. Cook them until they slightly darken and soften. Don't overdo the cooking though, so to keep their healthyness as intact as possible.

As for the main meat based course, cut some pancetta(bacon) in slices, that's the stuff I'm talking about.

We'll use this instead of butter to cook the meat in, as the bacon grease gives a much better taste to the meat.

So after the bacon starts leaving out some grease, we add some garlic, rosemary, grounded black pepper and spread this around our grill.

Then we slam in the steak and let it brown on both sides, the inside has to be between pink and reddish according to taste, as long as you sourced your beef from your local trusted butcher and not some supermarket.

That's how it should look like after you're done with it.

You can obviously place the pieces of bacon and the garlic and rosemary on top of the steak when you serve it, for added taste and nicer look.

All looking good with the artichokes on the side to add some extra veggie goodness to our meal.

So as we say around here, buon appettito, tastes even better with a slice of some freshly baked bread, a cold lager and a hint of green jalapeno Tabasco I bought in the US to spice up the bacon a little.

It did indeed taste delicious, the meat was tender and tasty, cooked just right, I didn't put any seasonings on it, except for the garlic, rosemary and black pepper as I actually enjoy being able to taste the meat, especially if it's from a good cut.

The artichokes were amazing too, very tender and tasty.

Later peeps

The Monello Strikes Again

Bear with my atrocious spelling, but really I'm powerless it's those geezers over at Intas Pharma who should be making more reliable etizs, one does nothing, then the next three floor you completely and make you stumble around like the town's alcoholic from an Irish novel.


Today, they say it's the coldest day in the past 27 years, as I've been alive(barely) for the same amount of time, that's the coldest I have ever felt.

It was -11,5 this morning and -9,5 tonight, I know that for the Canadians/Dakotians and other people out of the movie Fargo, this might seem like nothing but we're wops around here, even though we're so close to France we might as well be talking all faggy and educated.



Now I'm going to share a photo of my command center (CC), this is from where I lead most of my operations, like once in a while sending job applications and watching videos on youtube.

Interesting, isn't it? I don't usually discuss operational matters with civilians, but I guess you're just of the lucky who got to see where the shit is really going down

I'm also going to share the epic snack I had a while before, it draws from the triple-stack philosophy, which as you probably knows originated with the Big Mac.

Now you can say whatever you want about McDonald's but they were creative, at least at first, with their products, nobody before had thought of using not two, but three slices of bread to make a sandwich. Now that's R&D if you know what I mean. Like proper creative like.

One slice of bread, fried egg with cheese, then another slice of bread, melted cheese, smoked bacon and jalapeno peppers, plus more melted cheese.

Now that's a fucking snack.

More detailed photos so you can admire it in all of its glory, I obviously ended up dousing the lot with Encona and green Tabasco, the type of Tabasco sauce with jalapeno peppers they only have in the US.

So for me tonight it's going to be a few more of these...

And then maybe more of this:

Tomorrow I'm not gonna remember shit, obviously my arse is going to burn because of all the hot sauce I put on my food tonight, hey at least it's not for the same reason as Stu in the film.

Always look at the positives my friends and keep on going, life is too short and unpredictable to be sad all the time, so take some more of whatever makes you feel nice, have another beer, deep fry some more sausages wrapped in bacon and LIVE IT UP!

That's what the Monello way is all about, and with this I leave you, unless I die of respiratory failure I'll be back with more shit tomorrow or next week or whenever I can be bothered updating this.

Later

Street Art and Guerrilla Art in the Streets of London and Paris

This is a photo of a cool street art I took in central Paris a few weeks ago.
I always liked street art and I'm particularly obsessed with cats, so this one really drew my attention.

This is a shopping list I had made on a piece of paper from one of the agency's clients(where I sort of work), one of the main newspapers in Italy, I always like to leave my mark in the places I visit, just like dogs pissing on corners.

The shopping list was abandoned on a cold wet rainy windy London night, while my mate was playing with his three legged dog in the green area in front of his flat.

I took this photo the morning after, clearly it had been raining all day, so you can see the paper got all wet, you are still able to identify chocolate as the first item on my shopping list.

This is a white man, in a yellow background, I think I took him in Notting Hill but I can't be certain, he looks down to his right, probably looking at that beer barrel that's been unofficially converted into an ashtray.

He looks satisfied to me, although not very happy, could be worse still.

In this photo I totally admit that one of the main reasons for taking the photo was to capture what appeared to me as an attractive red head milf. Although I can also claim an emotional attachment to the club as it reminds me of a few wild nights back in the old days. Never liked 333 too much, but it wasn't that bad either. The graffiti do look cool though, at least you have to agree on that.

This one was was taken on Bishopsgate, right when the white collar area melts into the newly gentrified hipster colony of Bethnal Green Road, which has been lamed down throughout the years due to the influx of wankers who make blogs such as this.

More lameness ensuing in the next few photos that were taken at the Occupy Camp next to St.Pauls Cathedral, wait and see, just see...

Okay so the douchebag is very strong in this one, I for once made a prayer to our only saviour, the Dark Lord Chtulu, who unfortunately was too busy targeting Whole Food Markets stateside and in this instance could not help.

He did send me a text asking sorry though and promised he would clear all the krusties from the St. Pauls as soon as possible, unless he has other unexpected timetable clashes. We can only hope.

More pathetic attempts to give legitimacy to their crappy attempts at activism by using imagery of well known inspirational figures of the past, in this case, would probably tell the middle/upper class students to retreat to their parents' detached homes and stop littering public soil with their soap-shy presence.

Worrying Developments on the Alpine Front

As you probably know I am the self-proclaimed guardian of this valley. I have been keeping it clear of hippies and other intruders on my own for several years now.

There are emerging new threats on the horizon though and I don't think I can manage this war all alone anymore. I have now summoned an assistant, somebody who can put ice in my drinks, while I supervise this place.

I shall introduce you to Ranzord, my new henchman, my new second in command.



He was brought here by an inter-dimensional vortex created by the Obama Presidency, he has been involved in the Kaslan Wars of 2235BC when the communist Valkans were cast into the iced world of Ervathon.

Together we will be scouting these parts to see if any immoral activity is going on. We know it is as we have witnessed it today with our very own eyes, things we wish could unsee.



These degenerates with no sense of shame performed acts of sodomy publically, with no restraints and even less regard for common decency.



They even tried to involve my dear assistant and get him to join in their debauchery, luckily Ranzord is Robot of the highest moral fortitude and successfully resisted their attempts.



Ranzord after a fierce struggle manage to liberate that alcohol container from the evil degenerates, so that its contents could be consumed by us, men with no fear and no vices.



We battled hard for hours to try and get the shameful robots to stop their behaviour, but they fled from hide-out to hide-out.



Leading the chase to dangerous places, but Ranzord kept on their tails with the tracking skills he learned while tracking down VCs on the Ho Chi Minh Trail in the jungles of Southeast Asia, back when he was still in USMC, before his drinking and taste for underage prostitutes became an issue with the chain of command and he was discharged.



Ranzord, however, managed to cast a protective spell, thanks to ancient arts he a Nepalese monk had taught him, with the help of ancient magic silk prayer sheets, the area was finally protected and the mis-behaving robots cast away forever.

As you see the prayer sheets form a protective defensive line connecting the trees with each other, no dark energy can pass through this.











After good prevailed over evil, we could enjoy the show of two of our most notable residents enjoying some intimate time in the snow.



Here is Rei Ayanami of Neon Genesis Evangelion on her knees apparently doing something to Optimus Prime



The action here gets hotter and hotter, the sharpest among the viewers probably already understand that Rei's intention is to capture Optimus' Bukkake Romance Explosion in that cup she is holding, or otherwise it'll go in her eyes.

CLIMAX:

The Snow Breaks My Balls Like

Snow is nice right? It's all soft and cute and fluffy and makes us dreamy and happy, or that might just be the muscle relaxers but anyway, when you think of snow you think of something that brings joy to your life.


Well if you were to tell that to my face right now I'd deck you, or at least try to as I'm a wimpy guy who weights less than his cat, but still I'd try to harm you and given that I've always been the sort of loner who sits in the corner with bad thoughts flowing trough, I'd find ways of hurting you effectively. But that's not the point, the point is snow.

Last night I was merrily making my way back home after chilling with my bros, yes I do actually have friends, hard to believe I know and due to the snow and my impaired driving abilities I had to leave the car and walk home.

Only thing is I live in the fucking mountains and I had to walk back with snow all the way up to my knee, the blizzard was so intense I had snow in my face and obviously being the woods, I was in complete darkness.

Overall it wasn't actually that bad, I acted as if I were some special forces guy behind enemy lines in one of those video game missions where you get to wear snow uniforms and where headshots are so much cooler.

Also I had a pack of liquorice Haribos in my jacket's pocket, and those were life savers, just melting snow in my mouth and chewing on those bad boys while walking around in the woods in the middle of the night.

Ass Tender Deep Fried Chicken

The deep friend chicken that we make around here, ain't like you're all you used to.

You know with fried chicken there's always something wrong with it, especially the one you get at those shop on the streets, it's either too crunchy and then you get drips of grease coming out after every bite you take, or sometimes the outside is damp and doesn't taste properly, leaving a weird texture in your mouth.
This tender pieces of chicken will be just nice on the outside at they are on the inside.

First of all before we actually start making the food, we shall get some appetite going, as I love beer, this usually involved me sitting on my ass having a few drinks trying to gather enough motivation to cook.

Batter: mix some flour, salt, egg, chili powder and some beer to make the batter.

I like my pieces of chicken to be relatively small, as they fry better and don't stick to each other, smaller pieces always cook better as well, so the batter is nice and golden and the meat inside is well cooked.

I find it that when the chicken is cut too big, sometimes the batter gets too dark and burnt, while the inside is still pink, and chicken ain't like pussy, it shouldn't be pink on the inside.

This is the chicken just after the battering process:

One of my personal techniques to make great deep fried food, is to cover each piece with great care and then slam them in the freezer for a while, so that the batter sticks to it and doesn't fall off while frying.

I don't use a deep fryer to cook, I have a very deep pan, which I fill with cooking oil, that's the chicken cooking in it the other night, I then use a spatula-like tool to get the food out!



That's the fried chicken after it's been stirred out, ready to be porked down by me



That's my lovely dinner, spicy chicken wings roasted in the oven and deep fried battered chicken, served with a cold beer and some extra sauce, just in case I don't feel it's spicy enough.

Monello Style Chicken Wings

Okay the Monello Style Chicken Wings are just one way of expressing the "The Monello Way"

In Italian "Monello" is how school teachers refer to those kids they have trouble controlling, it doesn't necessarly mean troublemaker, but it's close enough.

What you need to make this awesome finger licking dish:

Ingredients:

-Well chicken obviously "duh", somehwere to cook it, and non-vegetarian friends who can be able to enjoy the fruits of your lard labour

Spices: Now that's most important aspect of it, as unfortunately a lot of people fuck up when it comes to spices and seasonings.

-Cumin

-Chili powder ( I used good one from the Indian state of Kerala, but I reckon any would)

-Jerk Sauce( now I know you were about to unzip your trousers but that's not it), it's a sauce from the Caribbean, it goes immensely with chicken and it's great with fish too.

-Olive oil ( I live in Italy so for me it's cheap, high quality and easy to acquire, I know some places it's not the same, but try to use extra virgin olive oil as it's the nicest)

-Garlic, I made a paste with chopped garlic using a mortar, always use fresh and stay away from those jars of garlic powder you find at the supermarket, yuck!

-Worceshershire Sauce (don't worry if you can pronounce this, nobody can, you can refer to it by "Lea&Pressins" on the most famous producers

-Soy Sauce

Preparation:

-Chop the garlic, add green and black pepper and then crush the lot with a mortar, the end result should be a paste, to which, you can add a hint of say sauce, we're talking drops here no more

-By hand, drip all the wings and drumsticks in the sauce, be careful that both side shall be equally bestowned by the sauce' gloriousness.

.-Place the chicken in a baking tray.

-I'm sure you have a bowl somewhere where you made that sauce, add some beer, ale would be the test but as I'm sure you're some of sort of cheap twat the lager that you were drinking is just fine. Add some chili powder to the mix. With a spoon gently place on the wings in the tray.

Now they don't have to swim in it, just a few drops so they taste better, capisci?

Now the next step is leaving the wings to marinate a bit in all the goodness we doused them

In an ideal situation that would overnight, so the flavourings do get a chance to permeate that tender chicken and become part of. Obviously in today's stressed out world, just the fact that you're attempting to cook your own dinner is a massive achievement.

Normally making dinner would probably involve you trying to get revenge on that 15 year old kid that "boom" headshot you on Battlefield until the bell rings and you're save from further humiliation. The bell obviously being the microwave letting wifey know that the Hot Pockets are ready

Obviously if you don't have time to leave the chicken in the fridge all night, is fine, but they do need at least a couple of hours and you have to make sure that both sides get the nice flavourings on them.

Oven needs to be hot and ready with the grill function on.

Epic Meal Time: TheChallenge

So yesterday afternoon while were both struggling to look busy at the office, my coworker Lorenzo had the brilliant idea of making a challenge, a cooking challenge.

Now that might sound a little queer to some of the US-based readers, but this is Italy, and that's how we roll, goddamit. Also this wasn't just any cooking challenge, this was a quest to see of could produce the greasiest yet more palatable dish. We weren't simply trying to make yet another cheap-pathetic parody of Epic Meal Time. If we had wanted to that we could have just made diapers out of bacon and rolled up them around a little statue of baby Jesus.

The video of the priests and clergy licking the bacon off the poor child's ass would have gotten us millions of hits on Youtube and right now we could be internet millioners, pimping it out with star wars kid and that retard who cried about Britney.

The objective was something that would make you question whether the food was real not, of just delusion, like when you sleeep and you dreams are so vivid, you're pouring Tabsco on Jessica Alba's outer lipa, cause you thought was beef carpaccio( If you don't know what is, then man you're hopeless and you''ll spend the rest of your life wishing you were me)

Now no more time wasting on this writing shit and let's get to the action:

The two things I made for the challenge, were:

Monello Style Chicken Wings

and the other was

Ass Tender Deep Fried Chicken

Both contain propietary sauces combos and cooking techniques, you if you copy them you're ass

In the page you'll more details about both dishes. Peaceout

Wednesday Night Special Quesadilla v2.0

Just made one twenty minutes ago, I've been out in the woods clay shooting all afternoon, and the crispy air of the outdoors got me quite an appetite.

You will need:
-tortilla wraps
-hot mixed chillies(green jalapeno, red jalapeno, manzano)
-cheese(cheddar, red leicester
-turkey breast fillets
-refried beans
-olive oil
-cumin
-paprika
-chilli powder
-dried onions
-garlic

Optional:
-all spice mix, I use Jamaican Jerk blend, but Cajun works wonders as well.

Preparation:

Step 1:

Heat some oilive oil in a pan, when it's hot throw in the diced turkey breast and add the spices, I go quite heavy on the cumin, but really just add to your taste.

Step 2:

When the tukey is done, take it out, clear the pan and add some more oil.Put a tortilla wrap on the pan, turning it every ten seconds, whenever you see bubbles forming turn it to the other side.At this point you might want to lower the heat as well.

Step 3:

Add the grated cheese, the turkey, the mixed chillies and the refried beans, what I do is put a layer of cheese, then add other stuff then put more cheese, so that all the ingredients blend and get all "cheesed up" together.

Step 4:

Keep on low heat for a few minutes, then fold using a spatula, the success of this relies in you distributing evenly the ingredients, don't pile them up all in the middle, but allow at least an inch and a half of empty space on the perimeter of the tortillaAfter you fold it, you should end up with a burrito looking thing, the shape of a half moon, if you did things properly, all the stuffing will stay inside and you will be able to turn it no problem.Turn it on both sides, until it gets mildly browned, but be careful not to burn it.

Step 5:

Using the spatula, take the thing and put in on a dish, and enjoy.

Btw, all the ingredients were purchased in a Sainsburys, and should not be too hard to find in the exotic food area, just look for stuff with Old El Paso written on it, the mixed chillies came in a jar, the beans in a can.